The Difference Between a Leader and a Martyr

Leadership can be challenging and sometimes frustrating, as managing partners often find their people hesitant to follow where they want to go. This can create a conundrum: should they just move ahead and hope others will follow, or should they exhibit patience and wait for their people to catch up?

The answer lies somewhere in the middle. As a leader, you must always be one step ahead, but if you are too far ahead, you risk losing people's trust and willingness to follow. And, more times than not, you end up doing it yourself. When you do this, you cross into exhibiting martyr-like syndromes. It often sounds like, "People aren't following me. I've tried, I've tried, and I've tried. And I'm not getting people to move."

So, are you leading? Or, are you being a martyr? Are you just one step ahead, or are you so far ahead people can't appropriately see or understand your vision?

One challenge managing partners face is balancing, pushing forward, and waiting to lead. It's not always clear whether a roadblock is there to test their ability to knock it down or whether they need more patience. Leaders must determine whether their people aren't following because they're not ready or because they need you to show determined leadership and knock down the roadblocks that often get in the way.

When your team is not moving in your desired direction, it's a chance to dig deeper and discover why. Is it a message for us to wait? Are they not ready, and must we do something different to get them to follow? Or is it a message that says I have to show determined leadership?

The key to balancing pushing forward and waiting to lead is understanding why the resistance is occurring. Is it because there's a lack of clarity around where they're trying to go? Or have they tried something like this before and failed? These are the kinds of questions that leaders must ask themselves and seek advice and feedback from their peers and advisors.

Firm leaders sometimes feel embarrassed to look under the hood and see what's happening; this is where outside feedback becomes vital. Often it takes the experience of someone like me who can express it from an advisory standpoint. You know, those times I went through similar things and what I would do the same or what I would do differently.

So, next time you face resistance or think your team doesn't want to follow you, ask yourself, do I want to be the martyr, or is there another way for me to exhibit leadership and not be frozen in place? 

Are you facing issues with getting your team moving in one direction? Contact me today to see how an outside perspective from someone who's been in your shoes can help.