Goal Setting: Don’t Dwell on “No”
Sometimes no is the right answer, especially when goal setting.
I know it is hard not to take no personally, especially when we are talking about your “personal” career growth goals. Trust me; I have been told no more times in my career than I expected.
Too often, firm leaders give their partners, managers, staff, etc., goals without strategically thinking about them. Providing goals for someone to meet and not offering them the opportunity to buy into those goals can make it challenging for them to meet those goals.
Creating Strategic Buy-In
How do we flip that? You allow your team to set their own goals. But you must allow your team to know the firm strategy and goals so they can align their goals with the firm. And when you do this, they will still likely come back with goals that may not align with the firm’s, which is okay because it is okay to tell them no to those goals.
You may be asking why I am telling you to allow your team to set their own goals just to tell them then they aren’t the right goals. The answer is simple; you want your team to have buy-in on their goals so they can grow while helping the firm grow. However, if their goals are not the best use of their time or align with the firm’s, you can tell them no, but you must explain why you are telling them no.
I recently worked with a 16-partner firm. The first year I worked with them, they decided to provide goals for their partners rather than letting them choose their goals. This process didn’t result in the personal desired buy-in. The partners didn’t resist the goals; it just didn’t provide the same level of ownership as the leaders had hoped. The following year when it came time for goal setting, they allowed their partners to propose their goals. Overall, the partners did a good job. Most of the goals were articulated well to align with firm strategy. Some goals, however, were not aligned with the firm’s strategy or may not have been the right fit for that person at that time.
The managing partner had the opportunity to say, “These ones I think are really great, this one I think we should skip because I don’t see it as being the highest and best use of your time; let’s modify this one, or let’s add something that I think would align well with how the firm could use your time.” This is collaborative goal-setting.
The funny thing is, psychologically, people most remember the “no.”
Handling Resistance to No
When the managing partner asked me what he could do to fix the focus on “no,” my first thought was, “You need to find out why” why people are reacting the way they are. My next thought was, “Did you explain to them why you said no to specific goals?”
There are two distinct perspectives on this situation. One is you need your team to understand that “no” is okay and does not reflect their abilities. The second is leaders need to be able to explain the why behind the no. And in most cases, it’s because the goal is not substantive enough, or maybe there is something better for them. Explain this, ask them to better define the goal, or offer a replacement you believe fits them better. You can also provide motivational tools. Maybe the person is not ready to tackle that goal; offer a “pre-goal” for them to achieve before adding this goal to their list.
Being told no and creating some tension is healthy. It shows that everyone is thinking. Of course, there still must be some balance. Leaders need to have the ability to say no, and the receivers must have the ability to accept it and be curious enough to find out why.
If you are ready to set up an accountability program for your partners, managers, and staff but need help getting through the “no,” give me a call. I can help you develop the ability to say no and work with you and your team on accepting the no.